Your Body, Your Life, Your Way!

So Who's a Sexual Deviant?

 

In this crazy world we live in, what exactly constitutes someone being conferred with the title “sexual deviant”?

 

 

 

 

I wanted to leave some space there for thought. To me the answer is pretty simple, however I'd like to expand a little beyond the sexual before I share my version of deviance.


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I'm writing this because I'm deeply grieved, angry and frustrated. I hear so many stories of women who have gone to a male sexual 'healer' who have ended up having sexual intercourse with the practitioner because he said it would heal them. That it would affirm their femininity by opening up to the sacred masculine or some such rubbish, when intercourse was not discussed prior to the session beginning.


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While this is aimed at Men in general, it also applies to Women, although to a lesser extent. 

I have a lot of female friends and colleagues who offer sexuality based services ranging from basic erotic massage to education to 'full service'.


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What's all the hype about Tantra or Conscious Sexuality? What's so great about it, and how could my sex be any better than it is already? What do I have to do to make it better?

The fact that there even is hype around sexual practices that are 'different' to the ones that most of us have learned here in the western world is testament alone to the fact that


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There is a new era of sexuality dawning where things like gender and gender binaries, sexual orientation, expectation and social convention no longer necessary aspects of personal sexuality.  What is this era?  I call it Conscious Sexuality.


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As a Bodyworker of over 20 years I am constantly amazed at the way each person's body talks to them. Stiffness in this joint or pain in that ligament, an upset stomach, nervousness and the list goes on.


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When people think of gender they usually think of Men and Women, or Male and Female. This is typical of duality thinking that is 20th century humanity. Black and White, Heaven and Hell, Man or Woman, Right or Wrong. While there is reason behind a lot of this thinking and behaviour, the fact remains that humans cannot, and do not fit into a choice of 2 boxes.


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While this should be a relatively straight-forward situation, choosing a practitioner for sexuality work, particularly body-based work, is something that needs careful consideration.  Having had extensive experience working with the body for over 20 years, and now having moved into Somatic Sexuality and  undertaking a Masters degree in Psychotherapy, the subject of "therapist knows better" has become a strong focus for me.  Sexuality is a topic that is sensitive to

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